500+ Dark Humor Jokes | That Will Make You Laugh!

500+ Dark Humor Jokes | That Will Make You Laugh!
500 Dark Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh


Dark humor can also be called black humor or black jokes. Well, In this article, were going to list the best dark humor jokes and also their meaning.

Dark humor is used when dealing with subjects that are very difficult to discuss or shouldn’t be discussed.

You can also consider them meme jokes and offensive jokes. However, most comedians have found a way of passing a message even when it is painful and dark using this unique kind of humor.

500 Dark Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
500 Dark Humor Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Dark Humor Jokes

Dark Humor can be used when discussing a matter deemed abominable, or very difficult to explain and also to make an offensive matter sound funny. Dark humor jokes are not very easy to understand and they may be sounds offensive sometimes. Here are a few examples of black humor jokes;

Blind Dark Humor Jokes

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

I donated 100dollars to a blind children’s charity, too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? It isn’t hard

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It’s very rewarding but quite challenging. – Took me ages to get her husband’s voice right.

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me

what do you call a blind german? a not see

Have you seen Stevie Wonder’s new piano? Neither has he.

Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s seafood.

Why did the blind man fall down the well? He just couldn’t see that well.

In my spare time, I help blind children. – I mean the verb, not the adjective.

This is really mean… A man put a blind man in a circular room and said ur dinners in the corner

how do you surprise a blind guy? leave the plunger in the toilet

A blind comedian was asked to stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube!

Friend: I hate you.

Me: why? Friend: I’m colorblind

What do blind kids and orphans have in common Neither of them can see their parents.

stop with the blind jokes…I don’t see the point.

Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs too much!

What do u call a blind dinosaur? do-u-think-he-saur-us

Why is Helen Keller’s child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!

Why did the blind man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.

How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished. The dog lead went slack

Son: mom what is dark humor?

Mom: son do you see that man trying to tie his shoe with no hands?

Son: Mother you know I’m blind and can’t see!!

Mom: exactly!

kid: what is dark humor?”

Me: points “see at that guy across the street…”

kid: I can’t… I’m blind” me: “exactly ”

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day she said its the biggest thing I ever had in my hand I said no love your just pulling my leg

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with “No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

What happened to the blind man’s son. He thought he was hitting a pinata.

A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him “Hey man What the hell are you doing?”. The blind guy says “Just looking around”

What do you call a blind German A not see

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster? She didn’t see anything wrong with it

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff They died of happiness and a 30 story fall

A blind man walks into a bar…and a table…and a chair…and the counter

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Funny Dark humor Puns

I was with my blind friend, and he was telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”

A blind guy walks into a bar.

Why don’t oranges go around blind? Because they take Vitamin See!

What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well? Nothing.

Why are blind people so good ad being a Jedi? They are always swinging a stick

What did the mute man tell the blind man? Nothing

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? neither did she. Did you see that one coming? neither did she.

(she’s blind and deaf)

So an Irish man is walking his poodle and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints. So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says sorry you can’t go in. The Irish man says why can’t I go in? Well, you have a dog sir and that sign over there says no dogs aloud your going to have to leave him outside. Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says. I’m blind it’s a seeing-eye dog. The owner says that’s ridiculous a seeing-eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that. The Irish man says well what kind of dog did they give me??😂

How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom

kid “whats dark humor” mom “you see that man over there without arms tell him to clap” kid “I am blind mom” “exactly,” said mom

What did the blind man fight in the bar? The coat rack

I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.

(Set up a joke for the actual joke) So why don’t blind people go sky diving? It scares the hell out of their seeing-eye dog. (Actual joke) When does a blind person know when he’s about to hit the ground? The leash goes slack.

So a blind man walks into a bar. At least he thinks so.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you gotta hand it to her.

Today I Gave a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hairdryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas? AIDS.

Yo mamma is so ugly she made blind kids cry

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, to see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I’m blind. Exactly

so this blind man was walking down the street with his stick right. and he walked past this fish market, he took a deep breath and said ” WWOAAH GOODMORNING LADIES”

A blind man walks into a bar And a table And a chair

Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going

A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swing a dog around in the air so the woman walked up to him and asked “what are you doing” the man says ” just having a look around”

WHAT is a blind person’s favorite color? Black

How do you punish a blind man? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

why was Helen Keller’s belly button bruised? her boyfriend was blind too.

What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market? “Good evening ladies.”

I got my blind friend a tv… he never uses it

What do you call a blind racist? A not see

What a Blind Man says when he passes the fish market?..Hello Ladies!

What did the blind man say as he passed the fish stand??? “Hello Ladies”

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read

What is a guide dog that can not walk? A useless guide 🐶

Why did the orange go blind? Cause he was low on vitamin c

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dyer

in the hospital paralyzed

kid: I’m out walking out of the room blind
kid: you can walk?! mute

kid: you can see?! deaf
kid: you can talk?!

doctor: what the fu*k

So a blind guy is sitting on a park bench his seeing-eye dog right beside him. Suddenly his seeing-eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy’s leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat. A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man. That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit. The blind man says Oh it’s not what you think I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the Ass.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

“What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, death eight-year-old child get for their birthday?” “Cancer”

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater… He thought it was the most violent book he’d ever read…

After work, I volunteer to help blind children. The verb is not an adjective.

A blind guy shot up a town, I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.

Dark Humor Jokes Orphans

I did my best to collect the funniest dark humor jokes about blind people and there it is;

500 Dark Humor Jokes 2
500 Dark Humor Jokes 2

New Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: OOF
Teacher: Is anyone missing.
Students: Your Parents

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back

Why do orphans play GTA?So they can be wanted

What’s an orphan favorite movie? Home alone

I made a website for orphans, unfortunately, it doesn’t have a homepage.

Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?

why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson
Cause it’s a family company

Girl: come over

Orphan: I can’t
Girl: my parents aren’t home 😉

Orphan: oh cool something we have in common

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day

What do you call an orphan family reunion?
Me: time

How did the orphan become famous?

They said “Go Big or Go Home

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

God, I love working at an orphanage

What show does orphan hate? Family Guy.

if you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. what are they gonna do? tell their parents?

What is an orphan’s favorite event Homecoming?

Why was the Orphan’s first phone an IphoneX? Because it didn’t have a home button

Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone father

What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Me: Fosters

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

Why do orphans eat cereal with water  their dad did not come back with the milk

One day I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags I asked if he was an orphan he said “Yeah what gave me away” I said his parents

When someone calls you to say this, Hi Welcome to Dave’s Orphanage, You make them We take them how may I help you! 🙂

Why don’t orphans work as computer repair technicians? Because they can’t find the motherboard

How do you make an orphan’s hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

Did you know the letter F in orphan stands for the family?

Why did the orphan become a prostitute They wanted someone to call daddy

Well I’m off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

Dad: I’m giving all your toys to the orphanage Kid: Why are you doing that?

Dad: So you won’t get bored there

Why can’t orphans do homework? They don’t have a home to do it at.

April fools joke go to an orphanage and tell them their parents came back

Q.How does E.T have an advantage over orphans A. E.T can actually phone home

What do you call an orphan family tree A stump

Kid: “I wish I could be like Batman!”

Genie: “Wish granted!” When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Why can orphans travel around so much? A. They never get homesick

Cmon man, give the orphans a break with these jokes

No, not until their parents pick them up

What song do orphans hate the most? “we are family”.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is

Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans, their parents will get mad. Oh…Wait…Continue.

Why is it when women decided to kill an unborn baby it’s a “CHOICE” but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids it’s called “MURDER”!

knock knock. orphan: whos there? not your parents

why can’t orphans watch PG movies? BC they are parental guidance.

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage why was she crying before she went in Because the people came back for their dog

Never tell an Orphan about a family matter, they wouldn’t understand

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

what’s the difference between puppies and orphans

the puppies actually get adopted

tell a dark joke to an orphan then hit them

they’ll get the punchline right away

So there’s an orphan in a hospital and the doctor walks up and says “sorry kid but this is a family hospital”

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because of their family size.

the cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents

What’s the difference between apples and orphans apples actually get picked

I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

Why do some couples make their status “single” after a small argument? Like I don’t put “orphan” after I get into an argument with my family.

last night I burned down an orphanage there was one survivor who said I would regret it I said “what are you gonna do, tell your parents?”

One day an orphan threw a boomerang and it didn’t come back like its parents

Orphan: I want to kill my parents

People: I don’t think you have the facilities for that big man

I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but… you’re an orphan

Q: What was the orphan’s first phone?

A: The iPhone X because it had no home button

What’s the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked

Teacher: You can’t be here after school without a parent!

Orphan: -no response-

What do blind kids and orphans have in common

Neither of them can see their parents.

Orphan boy: Your dad is probably disappointed in you I mean look at you Me: well at least my parents kept me wheres yours

It’s April fools day. I’m gonna go to the orphanage and tell the kids their parents are here to pick them up.

what movie does an orphan want for Christmas, spiderman homecoming 😉

why do orphans hate going to Costco because they need a parent to get samples

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other one is just a watermelon

The F in orphan stands for family… oh wait

Why can’t orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.

Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school Because they need to contact their parents?

Welcome to daves orphanage. You make it We take it

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted it stops being funny when your play in your parent’s room and find both of your adoption papers

Teacher: Describe a penguin

Student: Black, White, Beak

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

why can an orphan play a family feud because it has to have a family?

On Xbox live an orphan can say they fed your mom so you can say at least mine didn’t die from it.

Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn’t call it an orphans’ home

Girl: I’ve been an orphan since I was three.

Boy: knock knock.

Girl: …Who’s there?

Boy: not your parents!

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

Q: What is the orphan’s favorite part of a website.

A: The Homepage.


Well, this article will have listed the best dark humor jokes ever and also their uses. Some black humor jokes may be offensive while some a funny.

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